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Welcome to listentotheheartbeat.blogspot.com
Thursday, April 21, 2011Y

oh my really really god....its been super long since i blog!!!!
i will come blog when either bad things happen or happy things happen.
so today im goin to blog about a bad thing.
that im quite regret of telling her that the other guys were talking bad about her.
if i nv told....all this would not happen lah.i think?
but wat u did to me is really speechless loh.
but for sure,if i ask u :" do u think u flirt?"
u will comfirm say no.
u told me that u don trust girls,u said that girls are scary.
but do u think b4? why they are scary?
if u did nothing wrong and be nice to them,will they harm u?
but wat u did?and.....u comfirm got say aomething about me to him one right?
see your pale face when i says tat he tell someone tat im very big mouth....
hehe,don think i donno wat u been doin lah.
u can treat me like tat in the back,then y cant i?
actually i donwan to be mean one,but u force me to.
plus this misunderstanding juz happen like tat,make me more angry....
congratulation girl.
but as for u boy,
i know more than u do.so pls don come play with me lah.
i juz scare tat if u know everything,u will cry sia....
i can tell u tat u will stop believing yr precious for sure.
end up u will not lose a friend,u will abandon a friend.
and one last thing, u say i big mouth right?
then can u pls recall yrself about when u tell the others im very big mouth?
isn't tat called big mouth?
and, for u girl
wat u tell him,isn't tat big mouth also?
so u were saying that im a big mouth....
do u really mean it?
but relax,if im really a big mouth....
tomoro the whole year 2 PDI class will noe everything about two of u :)
so am i a big mouth?
i don think so....
i haven reach her level yet...
the way tat i trusted u so much....
all my secrets tat u told him....
and all his secret that u told me.....
hahaha,wat about yrs?
can i tell?
think yrself.
i noe this world is nv fair,but for u boy
such ignorant....
be careful ok?
i juz donwan u to abandon her so i didn't tell.
girl,u better keep yr mouth real shut....
u also donwan to quarrell with yr bf again right?
or even a break up?
think pls people

ends at 3:50 AM

Wednesday, January 12, 2011Y

is empty nw...
everything seem so empty and lifeless...
like my heart will juz sudenly stop in one second ltr....
it pain for no reason...
wat happen to me this few days.....
tears will juz drop down lik tat without noticing.....
even me myself also donno wat happen.....
while waiting my mum to fetch me.....
even nw....
wish tat i can vomit out my heart to see wat happen inside....
my heart is like burning nw...
will it melt?
empty and blank....
can juz cry out like tat.....
so lost nw....
is ok.....
whenever i say it, pls don believe me........

ends at 7:12 AM

Friday, October 29, 2010Y

long time no see.....
lol........
schl started.....
boring.........
taugh.........
anythingg.........
today i wan to say is...........
why im stil care?
yeap....
today's topic......
saw on the newspaper ytd.........
some place in indonesia got volcano erupted.....
then got earthquake........
the 1st thing comes to my mind is..............................
"is he ok?"
"is he goin to die there?"
weird.......
then i think about it........
maybe if we were stil togather....
i will sure worry lik crazy.......
but nw.....?
hahaha......
juz pray tat he's ok loh............
coz i also cannot do anything to it......
got think b4 of sending him a msg to ask whether he's ok anot....
but scare ltr will coz misunderstanding?
yeap.....
ytd during dinner....
i stil use this to make jokes.....
then melvin stil say me cruel........
say i wish him die.......
haha.....
ya............
how paintful will it be tat u cant even speak out the true feelings......
so?juz let it be........
then saw aryna alrdy post on his fb wall to ask him le....
so mean tat i no need to ask le loh....
hahaha.......
maybe is juz care for a fren lah....
yeap.....
a fren tat i don dare to tell the others tat u care..........
hahaha........
don be so troublesome lah........
haha........
should i buy polaroid??????????
haiz.........
bonnie is at taiwan nw....
she say wan buy msg her by next wednesday..........
buy mummy keep ask me don buy.......
donno leh...............
but i wish to have it..............
haiz..............
i wan lah............
sad.....................
today i think i will sad for the whole day......................
-.-
haiz...................

ends at 6:59 PM

Sunday, October 17, 2010Y

lalalala.....
today nv buy anything at all....
haha....
coz all of them buy till so happy.....
total buy le about RM 600 plus de things.....
haha...........
maybe my decision was wrong?
for not buying tat shoe.....
maybe it not suit me bah.......?
coz is too ex.....
but dad keeping asking me wat i wan to buy.....
实在说不出口....
lol
the price of my one pair of shoe equal to melvin's two pairs.....
then dad keep saying tat i always wear slipper....
then say slipper is for kampung ppl wear one...
lol.....
say nowadays teenagers all wear shoes one....
haiz....
nvm...
don care.....
i think i will use my saving then change money to go buy tat shoe.....
if i really wan.....
but mummy don let.......
haiz...........
should i giv up?
haiz.........
donno lah....
fan zhen the shoe also won run away.....
wait till i really wan to buy it then go buy loh...
stil thinking of wat to do tomoro.....
donno wan go gym anot....
coz my knee stil hurt....
plus juz nw shopping walk too much.....
even more hurt.....
then mummy........
really donno how to say her....
maybe she 更年期or wat.....
coz last time she keep scolding melvin say she always ask him go see doctor but he donwan
then his leg gets more injured or wat de....
so to prevent get scolding....
i ask her to bring me see doctor....
but i kena scold....-.-
she say she ask me don exercise too much but i nv listen....
lol.....
everyday 30mins call too much?
plus last time when i "exercise too much" do u stil remeber wat u said?
u stil very happy say i sure slim down one loh......
lol.......
i think she got 健忘症plus更年期loh....
anyhow also get scolded one loh.....
haiz...........
donno wat she thinking......
maybe is i really xiao qi lah....
haiz........
plus my dad.......
say me always want this wan tat....
ok loh.....
i donwan this i donwan tat....
lol..........
aiya.......
forget it........
do anything also no use........
juz let it be............
knee pain lah........
saw off my leg pls.......
lol.....
think need wait till she in good mood then ask her bring me see doctor.....
poor knee......

ends at 7:23 AM

Saturday, October 16, 2010Y

im here to blog again...
haha.....
the only thing tat i wan to share is.....
i hurt my knee....
overly exercise?
or do wrong exercise....
haiz....
donno when will it fully cover.....
then after ytd....
i was totally free and happy.
lol....
maybe is a wrong choice maybe not....
but is time for me to experience how tough it will be when im facing the outside world....
without the help of my parents....
the only one tat i can rely on is myself......
wat a story....
i register for the interview of a project that sponser by a company.....
then they asked me to draw animal and car......
my problem is.....
i nv draw animal b4....
not that nv lah...
but i nv draw those real one b4?lik i always use to draw those cartoon one....
then car.....
i also hav not much confident in it....
coz i think my rendering skill has disprove alot....
coz very long itme nv render le?
draw stil can.....
actually i got abit nervous...
coz i donno really noe wat should i draw.....
lik wat kind....
rendering or sketching?or those cartoon cartoon animation...?
donno.....
but...
i've tried my best....
if they donwan accept me i also have nothing to say....
haiz.....
stupid me....
shouldn't check the email so late.....
should have check early....
so i have more time to prepare.....
stupid me.....
i checked the email and found out tat the deadline for submitting my drawing is the next day...
then?
draw till very late then sleep....
then the next day wake up faster eat some breakfast le jiu start drawing le.....
but i screwed up one of my car.....
and one koala bear...
lol.....
but i also learn something during drawing.....
like how to draw animal.....
those real one....
how to draw till they look real....
think about it.....
everything i draw is all i teach myself one...
haha....
maybe this is my only talent?
haha....
but sometimes i really did give up when im really no mood...
or draw till very sian alrdy.....
haha....
then when during lesson in schl.....
everyone thinks tat im very good in drawing....
coz i always get A for my sketches....
but i really don think so lah.....
maybe im very hardworking or concentrate?
so can draw till very nice?
sometimes or most of the time for me....
if i think tat tats the thing tst i can do well....
then i will do well.....
so coz i lik drawing....
and i believe tat i can draw out well....
haha....
but sometimes i did screwed some of my drawings....
when i hav no mood or donhav the feeling of drawing....
haha.....
but no one knoes.....
coz they donno me much....?
nvm....
my knee.....
haiz.....
starting to worry about next year....
hahaha....
coz beverly seems to having a bf soon or later....
then ju ann alrdy found one a few days ago le...
lol....
next year cheng gay really need to walk alone?
haha...
donno....
if the company accept me for the project...
i will stop telling my dad wat i wan...
haha...
actually is from tat day onwards...
haiz....
hate being said tat im those ppl tat wan everything....-.-
tats the reason tat i donwan to tell u about the phone thing anymore!!!!
then wat u will say is:"oh...she nv tell me"
wat the hell?
i did tell u....
but wat ui said to me?
"u so gan jong for wat?"
aiya...
don care le....
i won say i wan this wan tat in front of u anymore......
i will juz save money to buy it myself.....
although kor say there's no harm to tell....
but .....
its hurts my feeling all the time when they saying those things....
no more......
maybe is myself too xiao qi?
donno.....
kor say one day i will put down all the things and don care...
when ppl saying or scolding or nagging u.....
it won hurts yr feeling anymore...
ya....
im waiting for the day to come....
i also got try to change myself....
ask mysle fodn think too much....
but i think the day haven come yet....
its stilll so far....
hahaha......
one day i will grow up and be more and more and more and more mature.....
haha.....

ends at 9:18 AM

Thursday, October 7, 2010Y

bloggoe bloggie~~
long time no see!!!!!
hahahaha...
today was as usual......
nothing much happen.....
oh ya,got one dog come to my house.....
to eat some biscuit then sleep awhile jiu disappear liao.....
lol.....
i decide to call him " cowie"
coz his body color was black and white juz like a cow
but doggie gets jealous when i fedd him biscuit.....
haha......
nw got quite alot things on my mind nw....
hehe...
i really can think alot.....
can write alot also...
coz i very talkative...
haiz.......
did i change alot?
for me, i did change in some ways......
lik....
become more seldom in posting some status on fb.........
and msn personal msg there......
in front of my fren....?
sometimes.........
for not letting them to worry......
i noe is my fault....
for letting such a nice guy to go.....
so i will not let myself live so happily?
no lah...
juz tat i deserve all this lah....
bcoz i deserve,so i won say any words about it.
i won emo anymore.....
even if i emo i also won say anything...
even if im sad i also won say.....
juz keep it to myself...
so my fren will not see me emo then worry me...
be strong lah!!!!!!!!!
hahahaha.
gabriel always say me....
i always type"hhahahahahahahaah"
but i was not laughing actually.....
he say im a weirdooooooooo........
yes im!!!!!
lol.....
i seems to not writing any status on fb......
not writing anything on pubilc.....
any feeling....no
any thinking......no
any emo stuff......no
maybe is really listening to wat he said.....
don keep writing emo stuff on public.....
coz ppl see le will think tat he's the bad guy.....
no no no no....
is my decision....
not to write as not to let my fren worry....
haiz........
also cannot say is listen to him one...
coz i donwan to let ppl noe tat i stil care about it......
nvm de lah.........
someday i will sure be fine fine fine and fine :D
juz wait for the day to come bah.....
day are getting better and better......
although sometimes somedays will feel lonely.....
lonely also nvm......
even if next year cheng gey alone also nvm......
nothing to be afraid of being alone....
ya....
someone and someone.....
pls don treat me so good.....
haiz.........
coz i cannot becoz of loneliness then.....
i will seriously get freak out when recieving yr msg....
sorry about tat........
wrote ao many things in this post.......
hahaha.....
bcoz no one will see it....
coz i alrdy very long time
haha....
is the only place for me to release some sadness.....
not writing any books anymore......
coz will remind me of sad memories.........
not writing anymore.....
books.....
burn u all!!!!!!!
lol...
hahaha....
i can say funny things out till the level tat myself also will laugh.
hahaha......
such a joker me.....
but sometimes im really felt unconfident......
when making u all laugh....
but nvm
u all happy jiu ok le.
lol.........
ya......
after writing all this things.......
my mind is blank nw.
happy...
lol....
such a good place for me to write.
coz i very long nv write blog le.
so ppl won come here to see anymore....
hahahaha.....
i so smart^^
happy

ends at 6:58 AM

Tuesday, September 28, 2010Y

It's hard to know that it was me that didn't care
I couldn't give much back to you, im sorry
i never took the time to hear the words you've said
it was me who made those tears fall down from your eyes
im sorry for all the things i have done
to be the one who took your heart, and filled it up with pain
im sorry
i didn't see i couldn't live without you in my life
till finally now
you telling me to watch every steps that i take
for each direction i choose will mark my fate, yeah
but all the words you've said never made it to my mind
now i'm holding regret that i never cared at the time
i tried my best to walk away from you
but everytime i seem to try, i just can't ignore the pain
what should i do?what shout i do?
i didn't see i couldn't live without you in my life
till finally nw
you're probably more happy with someone else
to have another in your arms, to have them share your dreams
what should i do?
i didn't see i couldn't live without you in my life
till finally now

ends at 7:18 AM